Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. At its origin in Ancient Rome, it was a pagan fertility festival, and it only became a holiday of love and romance in the 1300s. In 1840 it grew to be quite significant, and people wrote each other cards and letters. 

This is how Valentine’s Day became commercialised, and it’s big business now. Following Christmas, Valentine’s Day is now the second most expensive exchange of cards and gifts.

Receiving a gift or a card is a beautiful gesture, however, this year I would like you to do something different..

Implement these 10 ideas (10 days of foreplay) prior to Valentine’s Day and watch the results!

1. Practise listening with intent. Don’t interrupt your partner.

2. Hold more eye contact, even in simple conversations/interactions.

3. Start and end each day with a minimum 30-second hug (in stillness, no groping at this point – I feel I have to add this!).

4. Express your appreciation. Think of something you love and appreciate about that person. Voice it or send them a message – if you are on the shy side, sending a message is a great alternative. Start small if needed.

5. Share how you feel (again, in person or using technology if that’s easier for you).

6. Perform an act of service for your partner. This could be washing the dishes, doing the shopping, making dinner, picking up or dropping off the kids, or even just making your partner a cup of tea or coffee.

7. Take time out and do something on your own that makes you feel good, like catching up with a friend, going out for breakfast, going to the movies, reading a book, or something else that brings you happiness.

Pleasure starts with yourself.

8. Reflect on where you are in life. Where do you want to be? Share this with your partner. This can be in terms of work, your relationship, or anything else.

9. Tell your partner what you love about them sexually.

10. Communicate one need that relates to intimacy and sex, e.g., ‘I would like more touch’ or ‘I would like more passionate kissing’. Of course, you can be more explicit.

1–8 can be done in any order. Build up to 9 and 10.

What is the idea behind all this?

The idea is to step away from expectations/pressures such as buying an expensive gift for Valentine’s Day. You can still do this, of course, but at the same time, I would like you to put some thought into your intimate connection(s).

Start right now and do several of these activities daily, all the way through to Valentine’s Day. 

  • Was it difficult?
  • What did you notice?
  • Has it created more closeness?
  • What did you discover about yourself and your partner(s)?

Was your Valentine’s Day a hit? I would be delighted to hear your experience. 

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